Thursday, October 16, 2008
..."But I said I want it, mommy, so i'm getting it"
Annoyed. Hurt. Unheard. Saddened. Shake my head in disbelief.
I am frustrated.
I think of myself as non-materialistic. I have my needs met, and more than enough wants in my life. And truly, if I can justify a purchase, if it can help out me, my family and friends, I'll probably buy it.
But I have more than enough. To others standards, I may have little, out-of-date or just worn out stuff...but I'm okay with that. I'll replace it in my time not when others decide for me. God has lead us thru an adoption process right now, and though it's a lot of money, God has answered our prayers and our fears about dropping our money and peace about His plans...It really is ONLY money.
Kris and I have been trying to teach our kiddos the value of money, that some people have nothing and that we can give what we have to bless others. In this world of marketing, I feel that we are fighting a losing battle as each commercial and flyer have all the lastest wants for my child. Talk about counteracting the fact, our baby is coming from a third world country and has NOTHING. So I guess I feel like I'm living to two worlds. Here and there.
My kiddos do get the idea that stuff is important and it is what makes them who they are and will make them happy. Yet, they pray that our baby can eat... doesn't that seem mixed up!
Does my frustration make any sense? How you your kids view gift giving? How have you been able to keep a balance of gifting and getting? Are you able to focus on the real meaning of the season and adding gifts to one of the many activites?
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6 comments:
Oh how I know your frustration. But I truly don't have a solution. Last Christmas was a turning point for us for sure--where we are going now...still not sure. BUT I know I do NOT want a repeat of last Christmas. My children opened up about 40+ presents EACH!!! Multiply that times 3...and yep, that is 120 packages being unwrapped. They stacked over 3 feet high by 5-6 feet!!!! It was insanity. And the message it sent to my children was really sad. The thing is we spent about $100 each on the children--which resulted in about 5 packages each....but 15 out of 120 is only a drop in the bucket -- so elimnating all our gifts wouldn't solve the overload problem. I have no solutions. Do you tell people not to buy them gifts or put restrictions on grandparents? At the end of the day--I just want Christ glorified. I want it to be ALL about Him. So here I am a little confused at how to do that.
Yes, this is always hard for us, too. I have been trying to begin this tradition...the 12 days of giving before Christmas. Making cookies for neighbors one day, visiting a nursing home with crafts another, shopping for needy families one day, etc. Then hubby and I give each child 1 gift (not large, but like 1 baby doll) and they each get each other 1 gift. After filling the stocking-it's still a big Christmas! Christmas has gotten so out of hand with Santa and gifts and lists! It's crazy. I always find myself wanting to make Christmas big with gifts...but it doesn't ever end well. There are such better ways to make Christmas big, fun, memorable and Christ centered.
Seems crazy to me that fall is already here! Wow!
Yeah I hear you on this, being someone who gifts is my love language I love buying and giving gifts and I do have to practise restraint because I want to give them what they want! Last year and I think this year we are doing a family gift and then they each get a stocking, the same thing is happening at my inlaws, the kids get a gift for the three of them and then a stocking. I really want them to focus on Jesus and His birth and the same time bless them as well with a token of our love in the form of a gift.....it is a struggle to keep the focus of more more and more. I have in the past gotten each of my kids to get a bunch of their stuff together and not just their 'junk' and then we have taken it to Cuba with us to give to the kids there, this could and probably should be done locally too. I want to do so much more to change the focus for my kids but all to often fall way to short in this department.
Wow that was a lot of rambling....guess what I was trying to say is I really 'get' this post!
HUGS!
jmbmommy- i can totally understand. I want to focus on Jesus and loving on others....those that can't give back to us in return. the sad part is that I hide most of it, give a lot away and my kids are given such a high expectation around their gift, they are always disappointed. which is really pathetic....and seriously, my parents realize that they are getting spoiled and are planning not to buy much more than stickers but do something with them. my kids haven't even gotten their gifts and are frustrated cuz they want a different colour and size already...I am not impressed!
mommydani- i love your idea. i want to sew a advent calendar and each day there is a note in a pocket with an activity that is giving to others. i want my kids to love helping others and see the joy in that. their gift giving joy is very short lived and not satsifying...and it's just not about Jesus.
louise- i love the idea of a family gift and restricting the amount of stuff. i also love your idea about giving it away on your trips...what a grerat idea~!
thanks for letting me know that i'm not alone!
You are definitely not alone. It's tough to balance it -- you don't want to not give your kids anything, but yet don't want to feel hypocritical either!
I wish there was a simple solution...
I so hear you on this one.
What I would like to do this year (we'll see if we do), is follow this poem
One thing they want
One thing they need
One game to play
One book to read
And that's it!
Honestly, they don't need anything for us, but I know Nathan loves to give the kids gifts - and within reason it's ok.
We also do the Christmas shoeboxes - one for each child.
I think this year we'll ask them to buy something for "their child" with their allowance money.
I really love the other poster's idea of the 12 days of giving. I think I might steal that one too!
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