Not on my own strength

I never realized when I started blogging what it actually meant to live this life with God as my strength. I thought I was. Perhaps I was. But I wasn't truly leaning on God for all my life's joys and aches. Only when things unravel and are broken, can we ever fathom what that means.
But I went there.
I had been silent. Fighting alone. It wasn't working. I had nothing left.
I. Was. Broken.
Until one day, I surrendered everything. I mean EVERYTHING. It wasn't my place to carry something that I couldn't handle.
Something happened that day. That day as I begged God to take this pain away, I lifted my head from  tear soaked carpet, and my life has never been the same.
I discovered freedom. Joy in the midst of sadness. Peace that truly is from God. I cannot describe it. Maybe I will talk about it someday.
Right now, I chose to lean close to my Saviour and He heals my wounds, carries my burdens and continues to fill me with love to pour on others.
Now that is living.
True living.
Not on my own strength.