To Build or Destroy...that is the question

I spent some time with my brother this week. I truly adore him. Being so close in age but in completely different stages of life has been a neat way to see another perspective in relationships. Not only does he have relationship experience, he has been a chaplain to a local jail for those awaiting their sentence and spends much time in the inner city relationship building with those that have NOTHING. I see Jesus in him and so proud of where he has come...it's been a long journey. In his journey, he has walked with his good friend and witnessed the pain and loss in his young marriage. A gift God has blessed Kevin with is the ability to research issues and learn how we can help those in pain. We were talking this week about how communication in a relationship is vital and as we talked he was just throwing out lots of neat thoughts....just have to share them. " Pride, selfishness, resentment and fear....destroys relationships. Humility, selflessness, forgiveness and love...builds relationships. Women must need to FEEL...safe and valued (in the context of the relationship)...if not, they will find comfort SOMEWHERE ELSE. Guys must need to be admired, needed and have physical attention..if not, they will get that attention from SOMEONE ELSE. When one the of those "values" slowly discontinue/fade and the next, and the next...it will fallow over time and all you have are 2 people who have grown apart and have become roommates. All because of pride, selfishness, resentment and fear destroyed the relationship. It is not a mystery why things like this happen. The male/female thought processes are not wrong, just different. Light and dark cannot be in the same room together not can love and fear...it's one or the other." I really appreciated his perspective...what are your thoughts? What makes (your) marriage work/not work well? I recently read on-line that fighting naked helps work out issues...that made me laugh...but I'm sure there is truth to that! What do you think?