My lightbulb moment

I've mentioned in the past, that I love to bake. Or that baking is my therapy. Over Christmas, I spent less time baking and more time journal writing and just being a mom.

These past few months have felt long and trying as I have been in a dark, lonely valley. I do have HOPE. I have Jesus with me. I know that despite how I interpret this storm, I have a light shining on my path and someone holding my hand.

Back to baking...I have been spending more time this past month baking again. I think I have come to understand why I'm baking so much. I do love the sound of my mixer...it dulls what is happening in my reality and in my head. The noises and chatter are still there but I cannot decode what is all happening thus I suppose, getting a break from life. But I also grasped another concept. Each time, I add an ingredient into the bowl I not only hear the whirring sound of the mixer...but I have to shake my head at the weird combinations of flavours. Eggs...gross, milk or sour milk....eek, baking soda...eww, flour...bland and dry, sugar...way too sweet, cocoa...repulsive. I think you get my point. These flavors that are disgusting alone mixed together make the most delicious, mouth watering desserts that typically make me wanting 'just one more small piece'.

Same is with life, pain from here...hurts terribly, another pain...ouch, and on and on it goes. As these pains and hurts in life are unbearable, emotionally draining and heart-wrenching, I see an outcome just like the baking...God has a plan and His outcome is to make something beautiful out of a difficult situation. But not only that, He is working things out in my life, He is molding and chiseling me to be more in His image. I may not want this pain in my life, but looking back at how God is answering prayers, changing my direction and allowing me be still and know that He is in control. I have discovered that I not only need Him in my life but I crave more of Him.

God is good. I have HOPE. I love this image He placed on my mind. Baking is a reminder that if I follow the recipe, it will turn out. If I change the amounts and ingredients in my bowl, dough will still be made. But in the end, it WILL FLOP...just like life. If I do things my selfish way, I may go well on my way but it will end in another devastating U-TURN or an abrupt HALT...and I just don't have the energy for that.

I choose to follow the recipe placed before me.