Just a dream

Last night between my tossing and turning, I had quite a vivid dream. Those dreams that are actually nightmares in reality. As I travelled through this dream, it just got worse. But I was amazed at how I reacted to the drama...with peace. Hope knowing that God was taking care of every detail.
It began with me sitting in my doctor's office listening the news no one wants to hear. The headaches were a symptom of something worse. An untreatable tumor. My trusted doctor told me to spend my days celebrating the life I had left. Instead of squeezing my hand for dear life, my hubby let go and disappeared out of my life. My children were in the process of finding new parents. My entire life and world as I knew it, completely fell apart.
But the strange part was despite each twist and turn this dream took me, I had joy. My 'would be' reactions of pain and hurt were ones of peace and depending on God with everything I have.
I woke up to wipe vomit off my little girl's face. I felt a newness and deeper desire to hold on to the life I have been given. To appreciate the small things everyday, rather than big achievements that we feel look good on us and our resume. Kissing her forehead, I put her back to bed. I went back to my bed snuggling a little cozier to the man I said forever to, while praying to take this dream away.
I have so much to be thankful for. Life isn't easy and sometimes life takes you places you never planned or wanted to go, like this terrifying dream I was in. I am thankful for the life I have been given. Things may not make sense to me, but I do know that God is in control of what is going on.
"As you do not know the path of the wind,
or how the body is formed in a mother's womb,
so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker of all things" (Ecc.11:5)
Maybe this will be my reality. I pray that it is not, but if this helps me love and shine His life, I'll do whatever it takes. Despite the unknowns and changes to life's direction, I find comfort in knowing His way is so much better than my way.