My mind has been so full lately. It feels like there have been so many changes in my 'normal'. I question saying normal...I think I could refer it has anything but normal. In some ways I have felt unsettled. I like sponateous hair cuts and get-togethers but I like also to know the direction of my day, week and lately, my month. I like to not stress about the future and have a sense of knowing peace in the unknowns. I like knowing what to expect...I realize that isn't always realistic...and slowly I'm realizing that isn't how God wants me to live my life. He desires me to trust Him in everything, with the unknowns and just have peace that His way is much better than my selfish plans.
The first change came when we deciding to adopt...there was no doubt but it was a huge decision completely on faith, then came changing churches, soon after that was a possible job change that would have us not experience winter as cold, then were friend changes, possible house options, Kris' quitting his current job and start a new job here, etc...
How we had been doing things up til now was almost stress-free with few hiccups thoughout the journey. Looking back lately, I miss the knowns and the 'easyness' of the past.
As I was prepping for a new program for our church...just a drop-in moms playgroup...I was feeling extremely overwhelmed and vulnerable. Knowing that God had placed this on my heart and how He opened doors to make this happen was actually quite incredible...but the fear trembled in. I was reading my new devotion book last night "Life on Purpose for women" and it really calmed my fears about what is happening in my life, the decisions we are facing and the time we are committing. I read this powerful verse in Isaiah 43:18,19, "Forget the former things; do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not percieve it." The prayer at the end of the devotional moved me and I would love to share it with you!
Lord, I ask that you give me a new awareness of the awesome plans You have for my life. Help me to stop dwelling on the past, and to let go of all the regret, sorrow and bitterness. Fill my life with new purpose and meaning and use me to make a difference in people's lives for Your glory. Thank you for a new beginning and a fresh start!
2 comments:
Trust Him friend, Trust Him! He is worth and trusting! Lovely post from a sweet spirit :)
I too like to know what to expect, and sometimes forget the He has me in His hands and will guide me to where I need to go.
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