I have been struggling this year with my emotions. It has been quite the journey. I have been praying that God would remove these feelings and the 'fog' I was faced with.
I believed:
1. My thoughts weren't worth others' time.
2. No one could actually love me if I opened up my heart or my mouth.
3. Being vulnerable with others would drive people away.
4. Being kind to others was the only way I could be tolerated.
5. Sharing my feelings meant I was judged and unloved.
6. If people knew my hurt, they would be disinterested and walk away.
7. When people left me after I began trusting them, I was a failure.
8. I would never feel like I fit it.
9. I would never feel understood.
10. I would never be forgiven.
But as God has been working in my life,
I have discovered:
1. God made me for this moment.
2. I am worth some one's effort and time.
3. Though some people don't like me, doesn't mean I am not loved by many.
4. God knows my true feelings, intentions and strong desire of loving those around me.
5. There are times and seasons that God decides to use me, mold me and to help others with no strings attached.
6. I have made mistakes, said the wrong things but I am worthy of forgiveness...thanks to His grace.
7. The sabbatical of loneliness has been God's way to talking to me one on one with no distractions.
8. I love people and I crave to serve others God placed in my daily path.
9. I have never prayed and walked so closely with my Savior before.
10. I have felt safe taking my problems and pain to God, with no fear of rejection but with His arms wrapped around me...complete security.
Now that this fog is lifting, I have opened my eyes and God has placed many blessings in front of me. Some of which I couldn't see through the fog yet right before my eyes...one of which I have been praying for this whole time...God has given me a running partner!!! He cares about every detail in our lives.
God is so good!
2 comments:
Dear Andrea...
something I learned this year is that our spirit is saved, but our soul (mind, will and emotions) is BEING saved. This is the part of us that is being transformed into the likeness of Jesus. Those emotions are a tricky thing (speaking as a sensitive emotional girl)...so training is needed.
We are to renew our minds (daily), so that we can be conformed to His will. I find the best way to deal with it (and the lies of the enemy that often try to rule our emotions) is to submit them to God. Anything submitted (fully) to Him, can't be controlled by the devil.
Be careful to get your whole armour on too...as you know he is slippery and loves to deceive.
Praying for you...may your emotions (and your mind) be made into His likeness and may you be blessed through the process by increasing your faith and moving from glory to glory.
(((hug)))
Kimmie
You are an amazing work of God. It's heartwarming to read your honesty and that you are seeking what God has for you. Sometimes the journey is difficult, but know that each day as you make a decision to follow Him, He honours that and blesses you.
And just a side note, you are such a HUGE blessing to me. Honestly, I can't describe it..... :)
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