friendship or the lack thereof

I seem to be in a little bit of a pondering mode lately. I have felt quite useless in the friend department. Oh, I do have treasures but busy lives and locations don't really allow for connecting how I would like.Closer to home tho, I feel rather lost and lonely.
Sometimes I wonder if it's me.
Sometimes I wonder if I pick people in transition...who need/chose not to hang around for long.
Sometimes I wonder if God places hurting people in my lives, and since they take much of my emotional time, I have nothing left to attempt the friendships I need to thrive.
Sometimes I wonder I have a fear of getting too close to people, because of my past hurts...they are just going to leave and I don't have the capacity to handle more loss.
I have experienced friendships like I am desiring. Sadly, these friends made other friends that didn't involve me...for some reasons, known and unknown. But saying that, I have never felt so loved, wanted and important to another person...everyone deserves feeling special especially if God made you relational.
I am busy and thankful that my hands and feet busy and not getting too busy in relationship drama. But I do spend an awful lot of time alone. Hubby is the one with the quite the night life and weeks/weekends away while I seem to stay home and hold down the fort. I, on the other hand, cannot remember my last time away that didn't include just me. Nor the phone to ring just to say hi, not someone needing something from me...that and those blasted telemarketers. I am all about helping others but God has created me to connect with friendships too. I would love both.
I have prayed about this. I am flirting with the idea of moving. Perhaps starting fresh would help. I would totally do that..because I believe no matter where we are, God can use and supply the desire of my heart. But perhaps it's the 'grass is always greener' is getting the best of me.
As I sit and write this, I do know that I am loved. That God is the Ultimate friend...with Him I should never be hurt, let go or feel unheard and forgotten. In this process, I have discovered how to grow in my faith and desire God in every aspect of my life...not just when things go wrong. And that's a good thing. For this, I am thankful. I am at peace. I do know that God is working in my life. I know God has placed me here for now. I do anticipate God providing for this desire of my heart.