I've gotta feeling

I'm feeling a little vulnerable at the moment.
It's scary.
Emotional.
Possibly irrational to the rest of the world but very real to me.
I felt comfortable and safe.
Me...the girl, who struggled making good friends in junior high and then, making poorer choices in high school.
I met some amazing friends in College who were absolutely pivotal in me discovering who I was and teaching me that I was worth their effort. I felt loved. They are still an extremely important part of my life though the miles separate us.
As I moved into the next phase of my life, I have struggled with relationships...but God graciously would send me friendships in different seasons of my life. Each of them are treasured and am so thankful for their guidance, acceptance and encouragement.
Fast forward til recently, I was feeling somewhat confused and hurt by a certain friend that has blessed me this past while. After much prayer, I felt God leading me to share my feelings to this person. This was a relationship worth fighting for and I didn't want to carry this weight any longer. So I carefully shared my feelings of confusion. I never thought this person would walk away. It is gradual but it is happening. I'm feeling I'm losing something that is special to me.
I know that God knows the bigger picture. He loves and cares and knows the desires of my heart. He knows what it is like to experience loss, rejection and joy.
I don't know if this relationship will be restored but I will feel peace again. I do have faith that God is in control. I will smile for I know that God puts people in my life to bless me and encourage me.
So I will wait on Him for direction and not on my own strength.