Two ways to look at it

I've been thinking a lot lately about perspective. We are all unique. Add our different life experiences and feelings about certain issues, we are all in completely different places.
For example, I struggle now when other people try to control me whether its how I should act, say or do. It probably has a lot to do with not being allowed to decide for myself as I was growing up. I am not bitter...but it's helped me realize after all these years, while other's may have good intentions, they are not looking out for my good...but selfishly, their good.
I was thinking about a story my pastor, from my childhood, often spoke of. It was about an alcoholic father and his two sons. This father drank, not only his life away, but the family's money and was not a pleasant man because of his choices. His sons grew up. One becomes an alcoholic too. When questionned why this path...he says, "look at my father". The other son grows up and choses to steer clear of his father's ways and responding "look at my father" when asked why he has made healthier choices.
I just find that interesting.
If I was yelled at for my entire childhood, I have the choice to either be a loud mouth to my own kids or make the choice to not ever yell because of the hair-raising experience I had.
A friend and I have parents that have similiar pasts...both lacked money. My parents are minimalists and her parents are hoarders. Both had no money in the past but both made different choices after the financial state of their lives changed.
Some choices can actually hurt others and some choices make no difference in the long term.
I find this very fascinating...