It's not about me

...but it sure feels like it these days. I have been throwing a pity party lately with the works including self-doubt, self-consciousness mixed with internal frustrations with relationships in my life.
So ya...pathetic!
I could say it's how others try to control me, how tough parenting is, seeing my daughter get sick often and all the emotions and stress that brings, this ever-waiting adoption that has drained any energy I've had, past relationships that were such a blessing to me and I feel that I've ruined any chance of healing them...
And the list continues.
And I can get on my soapbox and justify the pain in each hurt in my life.
But it gets old.
Quickly.
I don't like this misery I'm in, not only bringing myself down but anyone else that's on life's journey with me.
I need it to stop. I want to stop. I know I am not living how God desires me to live. It's actually quite lonely in this party mode.
But the good news is that I have a real reason to celebrate. And it starts today. I'm really excited to put the focus where it needs/should be. I know God has plans for my life but only if I step out and take his hand, and walk with Him. I know I am forgiven. I know I am loved. And whatever is happening in my life, God is right beside me and desiring big things from me, as I let Him work in my life.
Now that's a party.
I'll still face the same issues in my life, but the perspective of how I deal with them, handle them and just knowing that I can give my problems, big or small, to God and He, not only will carry my burdens, but give me wisdom as I work through each one.
So these next 40 days, I want to pray more. Focus my eyes on Him and not on my problems. Ask God to show me His desire for my life and walk with me as I make choices that affect my attitudes, my family and everyone God places into my life.
Here's to a party worth celebrating!
Interested in join me?